When You Change Your Relationships Must Change

The second Hermetic principle, as explained in the Kybalion, states that the external world we experience is a reflection of our inner world. So whatever is going on in your life right now – your health, your career, relationships etc. – are all physical manifestations of your Spirit – your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about who you are and how the world works.

Therefore, when you make a deep, spiritual shift, inspiring new behaviors and ways of being, the manner in which you show up in the world will change, including how you interact with others.

More often than not, depending on how drastic this awakening may be, you’ll have to say goodbye to several relationships.

The thing is, many relationships have deep patterns, including negative ones, that fit quite nicely with the unhealthy patterns within you. If these patterns no longer align with you, and you’re ready to release said patterns, in order to stay in the relationship, something will have to change.

For instance, maybe you have an established a familial relationship where you can’t say no to someone’s frequent demands. This pattern of relating could stem from a lack of self-worth, a fear of abuse, a need for others’ approval, a skewed perspective on giving and receiving or a number of other things. But if you get to a point where your beliefs about yourself and about relating to this person change, the relationship MUST change.

Unfortunately, many may resist the change in your relationship or challenge the person you are evolving into.

Maintaining a relationship that cannot grow with you is like walking around in shoes several sizes too small. It will be uncomfortable and will probably impede your ability to move forward. So you may find yourself leaving a marriage, ending a best friendship, or handing your boss your 2-weeks notice letter.

These changes are terrifying, but they’re normal and necessary and you should not feel bad about making them because they merely reflect an inner transformation that should be honored.

Not all relationships are meant to last or be as prominent as they once were. We enter many to learn something, heal our unhealthy patterns, or to wake up to the need to be more authentic. And yes, some are meant to stay the course – growing right alongside us.

The key is to have the wisdom to know the difference and to summon the courage to act accordingly.